Dark Berry Mocha

another "Au Revoir" for 2009...

2009-01-04T00:16:00.003+08:00

Another goodbye for 2009...

It's been 3 days since January 1, 2009. The memories are still fresh on my mind...

December 31, 2008. All of us were busy the whole day. Some of us went out and some stayed at home to cook and prepare for everything. The clock was ticking and I knew that 2009 was near at hand. 5....4....3....2....1....Happy New Year! :) -- was it? *hay*... Okay, it was fun because we're Complete. We had consumed sooo much food..ahaha! After eating we talked about a lot of stuffs. Time passed by and it was 1 am already. My tita was already sleepy 'coz we had a very tiring day. So she slept with her husband. She asked me to wake them up at 3 am.. I was up the whole morning and was just browsing the internet the whole time--for 2 hours.."tick-tock-tick-tock".. It was already 3 am--the part i hated.. So there, I woke my tita. She continued packing her things together with her husband--and i stayed in my room.. After 10-15 minutes, i took a bath and ate my breakfast. It was already 4:30 am and still not sleeping.. After 30 minutes, my tita came down and ate with me. I know it'll be the last time that i'll be able to have a breakfast with her and that made me sad.. It was already 5:15 in the morning when her husband's brother's arrived. Then we all went to the airport afterwards.. We arrived at around 5:40, i think. We all went down our cars and went to the departure area.. I can already feel it--tears are gonna fill my eyes.. When my tita was about to hug us all, she announced, "o, walang iiyak ha." So I tried to stop my tears to fall.. Then, my tita and her husband left.. It was the saddest part.. What a great New Year, was it?! *hay*.. Okay, enough with the drama.. I hope we'll see her again this year.. I hope.. *sigh*

So there, we're about to go home when my mom asked us if we wanted to hear mass at Baclaran. My lola and dad agreed so we went there. We finished the mass at 6 in the morning and went straight home.

It was almost 8 am when we got home. I was so tired and sleepy so I went straight to my room without even changing my clothes.. Told you i was soooo tired and SLEEPY..ahahahaha!

I woke up at around 5 in the afternoon..haha! Then we watched a movie at Festival Mall. We went home afterwards...

When I went to bed, I thought of 3 things:

1) We had a memorable New Year--definitely..

2) I'm thankful that I have a very loving family and supportive friends--I love them..

3) Goodbye's are not the end--they're just a start of a new chapter in your life... :)

Matt Dalas aka KYLE XY

2008-12-31T05:19:00.007+08:00

I just love the series KYLE XY.. You can watch it on Starworld, 3pm or 3am..hahaha... I just love how the story goes, you should all watch it and discover it for yourselves.. :)

Plus-- I have this HUGE crush on MATT DALAS.. :) I just love his eyes :) You know what, the first thing that I notice in a person is his/her eyes.. Yah, I don't know why..hehe.. :p

Anyway, did I just tell you that I LIKE HIM?! :) I think I didn't.. So okay, I LIKE HIM, I really really really LIKE HIM..ahahaha.. :) He's just sooooo fine..sooooo handsome..so innocent-looking AND soooooooo physically attractive..ahahahaha :) I just like him! :)

Love you Matt aka Kyle :)

My dream car -- a VOLVO C30 :)

2008-12-31T05:08:00.004+08:00

This is my dream car.. *sigh* I saw this in the movie, "Twilight".. :) It was Edward's car.. I dunno if it's the exact model but it's kinda the same..hehehe...

I hope that when I'm already working in Australia, I'll be able to save some money and buy this car.. *day dreaming*...hahaha.. :p

I just love it! :) -- plus, It's Edward's car! :) Love, Love , Love :)

A German Traum... :)

2008-12-31T01:13:00.007+08:00

What a dream (traum in german)...

I was so tired from yesterday's activities so I fell asleep at around 7 pm, i

think.. Then I woke up at 11:30 pm... It was sooo weird.. I remembered my dream..ahaha..'Coz I really don't remember my dreams and in fact, I don't remember having dreams at all..ahaha.. weird huh?..haha..

So, here it goes...

As I can remember, my german friend and I were bonding.. Did I say "friend"..ahahaha.. Okay, uhm, I "kinda" like him..haha.. He also asked me out several times already.. So do you think it's a "date"?.. dunno kasi eh..haha..Anyway, we're bonding in my dream.. But I can't remember the exact thing that we were doing.. So there, after a few days my lola told me that he became a drug addict again-- because of drinking "coke"..ahaha..It's like when he consumed his coke he craved for some drugs, again.. weird... When I found out about it, I stayed away from him every time he's near me.. "Pinagtataguan ko pa siya." But then, he found out about it and he got hurt...So the next day he planned to leave...

It was early morning when he packed his things.. He rushed to his car.. I saw him and followed him.. He was too fast so I called him while running.. " Hindi niya ako pinapansin. 'Di man lang siya lumingon para tignan ako..hay." I forgot what happened next.. I can't remember if I cried.. I think, I did.. I really felt sorry and I still wanted him despite his flaws and addiction..

Good thing, that was just a dream..ahahaha.. But If that was true, that he was an addict, maybe I would still give him a chance.. Everyone deserves to have a second chance, right? :) -- And I know that he deserves to be loved like anyone else, German or not.. :)

Pamper Me..

2008-12-30T17:16:00.005+08:00

What a day...

I slept at around 6 this morning then my lola woke me up at 10:30 am.. We're going to atc daw.. "Hay, antok pa ako..huhu..4 1/2 hours of sleep.." :( Anyway, I went downstairs to eat with my tita and mom then I took a bath.. I finished at around 11:30.. So there, we got out of the house before 12nn..

It was soooooo traffic! grrrr..ahahaha.. We spent 30-45 minutes stuck on the road.. The vehicles were barely moving..hay..So we just called Nail Tropics to make an appointment. Unfortunately, they're fully booked until 5 pm.."Sayang, magaling pa naman sila at maganda pa ang services." Anyway, after 45 minutes we reached ATC, at last..haha..We went to Let's Face It to have our nails done and some other stuffs..ahaha.. I got the mani/pedi package with foot spa.. "wuhoo!kaso nakikiliti ako..hahaha" :) And an eyebrow threading.."ouch!" :'( I kinda slept during the whole pampering session..hehehe..We finished at around 3:30 pm then we ate at North Park.. :) Before going home, we went to Red Ribbon to buy some cakes for tommorow's celebration. :)

At last, NO traffic!ahahaha.. We arrived at around 5 pm...I'm so tired.. Gotta rest.. :)

I'm like a Vampire..

2008-12-30T05:34:00.002+08:00

It's already 5:31 am and I'm still awake..haha.. It's because of Insomia.. or maybe not?haha.. Maybe I'm becoming like the "Cullens".. haha.. It doesn't hurt to dream right? :p Anyway, I can't sleep.. Dunno why.. Hmmm.. Maybe I'm thinking of Someone.. We haven't talked since last Saturday.. I know it's not that long but i "kinda" miss him..hahaha.. Oh no!ahaha.. It's nothing.. Maybe It's just a crush..ahaha.. "Ok france, stop it!" hahaha...

Btw, I really Love "Twilight" :) I just can't get over the movie..ahaha.. I have seen it 5 times already.. Am I an addict or what?ahahaha...I love Edward Cullen.. He's like every girl's dream guy..Who can blame him?haha.. He's "ALL" that.. :)

Waaahhh.. It's almost 6 am, I gotta sleep na!ahaha.. So I'll just continue this dream of mine while sleeping..ahahaha...

Good Night World..Good Night Edward/Robert :) I love You! :)

A Happy Monday :)

2008-12-30T01:21:00.002+08:00

I woke up at 3 pm..ahahaha..I went downstairs to have my breakfast/lunch/merienda..I was about to eat the chicken on the table when my tita called. She's asking us to go to atc with my mom, dad and lola to meet her and her husband there.. Shoot! "sayang yung chicken! gutom na ako..ahahaha!" So there, I just got a doughnut on top of the table and brought it with me inside the car..So much for having brunchda=breakfast + lunch + merienda..haha...

We arrived at atc at around 5 pm. My tita wanted to have her nails done so we came with her. Unfortunately, all of the nail salon in atc was full.. shoot!ahahaha.. So, we just ate at Yellow Cab! :) We had two 10' pizza, Charlie Chan Chicken Pasta and Potato Halves. "yum!" :) That was technically my breakfast/lunch/merienda/dinner..hahahaha..

After eating we went shopping! wuhoo! Actually, it was SHOE shopping. :) I bought a pair of gladiator shoes from People Are People. :) Note: last pair for the design I like.. haha.. Lucky me! :)

Before going home, we dropped by Save More Supermarket to buy some food and gifts for the Sisters...

We got home at around 9 pm.. Fun! Fun! :)

Pulling me BACK...

2008-12-29T03:36:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was "The Holy Family Day".

Well, i woke up at 1 pm.ahaha. I slept late the night before 'cause I have insomia. So there, I ate my brunch then took a bath and we went to church at 4 pm. When we arrived, my parents and I, we sat at the back of the church 'cause that's only the vacant seat inside the church. When we took our seats, I saw someone. Someone that I really didn't want to see. He was from my past if you know what I mean. We weren't really official because I wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend yet so we're just M.U. So yah, I saw him with his whole family seating beside him. My heartbeat was out-of-control. I remembered everything that happened before, it was like a flashback. All the good and the bad memories came into my head. Those memories that I didn't want to remember anymore. But I just can't stop looking at them because they we're just two rows in front of us. I can see his back so clearly even though I am near-sighted. I just can't concentrate during the mass. My mind is so occupied with things, memories, events that I didn't want to remember. I said to myself "ano ka ba?! stop it! he's not worth it! You deserve someone better!" Well, I know that, maybe "hindi pa talaga ako nagigising sa katotohanan!" Also, when I'm almost there, I mean finally moving on, there's something that "pulls me back." Hate it! Like what happened last December 22, 2008.

December 22, 2008:

As always, i woke up late with the same reason..haha.. It's just a typical day. Watch t.v., eat, read books etc. Then, i went online at around 10:30 pm. So there, i just left my YM open while I was editing something on my tita's laptop. Then sudddenly, an IM appeared on my computer. I thought my computer was jammed or something. The name of my ex m.u. appeared on the box. Shoot! I didn't know what to do when I saw his name. I was so confused and shocked because as I can remember, I erased him from my YM list and I had myself appear permanently offline on his YM account. So there, he said my name first then asked me if i wanted to talk to him. I didn't know what to say, I was staring at the computer for 5 minutes.haha. Fortunately, my tita was also inside my room so I asked her for help. I replied, "hey." Then he asked the same question again and asked another one, "gusto mo na bang maayos ang lahat??" I said in reply, "uhm, I don't know?" Then he said, "basta sorry sa lahat and sana naman wala naman nang samaan ng loob, sorry bout wat happen date". I replied, "it's ok..tapos na yun..napatawad na kita.." I was surprised with his reply, "para kcng hindi eh..la lang..nalalabuan din ako eh." Just to be nice, I just said that what happened before, it's all in the past. I said that I'm okay now. He agreed. I asked him, "why do you think so?" He said that he can see that I already have a new guy that's why he concluded that i'm okay now. I replied, " same with you." Then he said, "oi babae sa akin hindi guy." Shoot! He can still afford to make a joke out of it. Anyway, I listened to my tita, that I should end the conversation so it won't look like I was waiting for him. So there I said, "hey, gotta sleep na, maaga pa kami 2m eh." He said, "ok..take care.. God bless =)." For my reply, "tnx, u too =)"

Well, that's the truth, I really don't know if I want "na maayos ang lahat". The first reason: I don't know if I can forgive him with all the "things" that he did. Second reason: Why just now? After 7 months.."Bakit ngayon lang?" Third Reason: The worst part is that I might fall AGAIN.. And I don't want that to happen. I'm much stronger now than before but I don't know If I can still be strong if we'll be friends again..

I just hope & pray that I'll be able to Move On COMPLETELY & START a NEW life.. A life WITHOUT him....